TP

yesterday was one of those days where i drank an insane amount of water at the office, so much so that i ended up using the ladies room at least once every hour and a half. after the fifth round paying my respects to the porcelain god, i washed my hands and went quietly back to my desk. i dilly-dallied on my computer for a bit, pretending to work on an urgent project with a pressing deadline, but was really trying to figure out why my IMRelay wasn't working and why my shitty company is blocking me from downloading AIM. I passed the remainder of the workday away in this fashion, staring at my computer, getting up to refill my water bottle, getting up to pretend to go to the printer/fax machine/xerox machine, chatting with co-workers about them taking dumps at work and which bathrooms they use (good info to know!), etc.

when it came time to leave, i got up from my desk and was about slide my arms into my jacket when something white near the back of my right leg caught my eye. i turned and glanced down the right side of my body and lo and behold, a horrible sight entered into my field of vision... a long trail of toilet paper was quietly hanging from the top of the back of my pants!!

omg! how long has the TP been glued to my ass?? when i talked to my coworkers? when i walked to the break room to get more water?? when i walked to the printer/fax machine/xerox machine??? when i sat down with my boss for a meeting???? i was mortified!

my point here not so much that i was mortified and embarassed, ittt's that not one person was kind enough or took any pity on me to point out there was toilet paper stalking my ass....... fuckers!