familia
i started this post on 1/19, and just logged back onto blogger today, 2/1.... i didn't finish my thoughts on this, but i'll post anyway.
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sad. my uncle passed away yesterday. unexpected. painful.
so i'm hanging around the bay instead of going back to ny to help my cousin out with the funeral planning and all the legal mumbo jumbo you gotta deal with when someone passes. it's sad that i know what to do in these circumstances.
today we spent the entire day trying to nail down all the planning and preparations - mortuary, cemetary, flower shop, newspaper, restaurant, etc. exhausting. overwhelming.
but something struck me while we were out and about visiting the different services. i realized how completely different my cousin and i are in our priorities, what makes us tick, and what motivates us. i think i always had a feeling that we were on totally opposite ends of the spectrum but today really illustrated the point for me.
at the funeral home, we were presented with the pricing and packages for the services and caskets. my cousin was set on one that was expensive. i remember over a year ago sitting in the same funeral home, being presented with the price list, and choosing the one that was not too expensive, not too inexpensive. something simple, clean, tasteful. something my mom would have appreciated. not saying my cousin's choice is not tasteful... just tried to let her know that she has options and that she didn't need to spend a grip to show her love.
off to the cemetary. were presented with the outer burial casket prices and automatically one of of the most expensive ones is selected without much thought. i pointed out the one i chose for my mom, considerably less. my reasoning was that once in the earth, you become part of the earth... maybe that's part of my mom's faith influencing my decision. but my cousin just mumbled, 'it's just money, it doesn't matter, it's for my dad'. basically, money is not an issue since she wants her dad to have the best. her point is valid. but it just seems that that's the only thing that's important right now.
i don't know why, but its driving me crazy. maybe all i really want to say is to make it memorable, not extravagant.
whatever.
************************
sad. my uncle passed away yesterday. unexpected. painful.
so i'm hanging around the bay instead of going back to ny to help my cousin out with the funeral planning and all the legal mumbo jumbo you gotta deal with when someone passes. it's sad that i know what to do in these circumstances.
today we spent the entire day trying to nail down all the planning and preparations - mortuary, cemetary, flower shop, newspaper, restaurant, etc. exhausting. overwhelming.
but something struck me while we were out and about visiting the different services. i realized how completely different my cousin and i are in our priorities, what makes us tick, and what motivates us. i think i always had a feeling that we were on totally opposite ends of the spectrum but today really illustrated the point for me.
at the funeral home, we were presented with the pricing and packages for the services and caskets. my cousin was set on one that was expensive. i remember over a year ago sitting in the same funeral home, being presented with the price list, and choosing the one that was not too expensive, not too inexpensive. something simple, clean, tasteful. something my mom would have appreciated. not saying my cousin's choice is not tasteful... just tried to let her know that she has options and that she didn't need to spend a grip to show her love.
off to the cemetary. were presented with the outer burial casket prices and automatically one of of the most expensive ones is selected without much thought. i pointed out the one i chose for my mom, considerably less. my reasoning was that once in the earth, you become part of the earth... maybe that's part of my mom's faith influencing my decision. but my cousin just mumbled, 'it's just money, it doesn't matter, it's for my dad'. basically, money is not an issue since she wants her dad to have the best. her point is valid. but it just seems that that's the only thing that's important right now.
i don't know why, but its driving me crazy. maybe all i really want to say is to make it memorable, not extravagant.
whatever.
posted by joaners @ 6:52 PM
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